31	Tuesday October

A Certain Romance by the Arctic Monkeys.

29	Sunday October

28	Saturday October

Second Life is a virtual world in which avatars - digital characters controlled by people via the net - can interact and make friends. Residents can design virtual buildings or fashions and set up businesses, from which profits can be turned into real cash. Developed by the Californian firm Linden Labs, Second Life recently recruited its millionth resident.

The game has also attracted many companies looking to market to the million strong virtual audience. Toyota is giving away virtual cars, Starwood Hotels has built a virtual model of its new chain, Duran Duran bought an island where the band will perform online, and companies such as American Apparel, Adidas, Reebok and Penguin Books have a presence. Even Reuters have dedicated a full time journalist to reporting events in SL.

SL also allows anyone to start businesses in the virtual environment in order to earn L$ which can then be converted into real money. Personally, I earn my keep by doing private dancing and naming songs as they come on in Club Arsheba, but other people are particularly entrepreneurial. Here's a nice earner from a current user:

"I sell second hand cybersex.
' How is this possible?', I hear you ask.
I take old logs of cyber and remove one persons text from the convo. All you have to do is buy a log from me and read it and add your own replies!
It's like a virtual woman that lives in your pocket, ready to please you anytime!"

It's highly addictive - and free. Have a go.

12	Thursday October

A view of Devin Castle, just outside Bratislava on a hill where the Danube meets the Morava. The site was continually settled from New Stone Age until the 19th Century.

The beginnings of the medieval castle date from the 13th Century when a small border fortress was built on top of the rocky cliff, seen below. The other busy building period was the 15th Century, when the castle was owned by the prominent Garays family. In 1809 the castle was blown up by Napoleon's soldiers.

Today the castle is maintained by the City Museum in Bratislava, which has been carrying out archeological research on the site since 1965.

We were offered a warm welcome to our hotel

Bratislava by night. It's worth watching Eli Roth's film Hostel which was set in Bratislava (although it might completely put you off ever going there). It portrays Slovakia as an undeveloped, uncultured country suffering from high criminality and prostitution.

The film received strong complaints from the country of Slovakia, with Slovakian officials being disgusted by the film’s portrayal of their native country, claiming that it would “damage the good reputation of Slovakia” and would make foreigners feel that it was a dangerous place to be. In defence, Roth said he did this intentionally to portray Slovakia as old stereotypes to represent US backpackers' general ignorance of their surroundings.

Bollocks. Let's face it, he made the film to make some cash.

A view looking across the New Bridge, worth a walk along to get a view of the UFO structure seen at the far end (which is usually open to the public).

English tourists are made to feel especially welcome on Slovakian public transport. Following this incident, Bijou was kidnapped to a large house by a group of shifty looking hulking men with flat-tops and leather jackets where he had two fingers removed and his Achilles tendons cut.

Kitty doing his best impression of Malcolm in the Middle.

Driving through the Slovak countryside we stumbled across another castle where there happened to be a classic car rally.

Bijou tasting his 65p a bottle Slovakian vino with a true tourist flourish.

The trip ended with a quick excursion to one of the renowned Slovakian spa towns where we were the youngest people by around forty years. Here you are forced to walk around naked for an hour followed by having your body pummeled by a 25 stone woman with a moustache.

5	Thursday October

It's a nice treat to come across a decent, slightly addictive viral game, and even better when the makers have set it on what happens to be the route to your local supermarket.

Having played Toon Crisis a few times, the other day I walked down this street to buy some sink unblocker and a jar of bovril and found myself tensing up as I turned the corner - my brain gearing up in readiness to blow apart the gang of grunting aliens about spill out of the doorway on the left. As if that wasn't enough, now I can't avoid walking down here with my right hand poised expectantly in front of me, pointing, eagerly, like a fleshy gun.

1	Sunday October

Designed by Sir Christopher Wren and Robert Hooke and constructed of Portland stone in 1671-7, the Doric column is topped by a flaming urn of copper symbolising the Great Fire.

The Latin inscription on the north panel of the pedestal translates as "In the year of Christ 1666, on 2 September, at a distance eastward from this place of 202 ft, which is the height of this column, a fire broke out in the dead of night which, the wind blowing, devoured even distant buildings, and rushed devastating through every quarter with astonishing swiftness and noise ... On the third day ... at the bidding, we may well believe, of heaven, the fire stayed its course and everywhere died out."

After being greeted by the friendly chap on the door, you pay your £2 and face this spiral staircase of 311 steps to the balcony at the top. Be prepared to get slightly giddy and experience a strong urge to vomit if you've had a big one the night before.

When you've finished being sick out of view of the CCTV, you'll find some great views over the city in all directions.

And this amazing looking building is just to the south of the Monument facing on to the Thames. And New Yorkers have sights like this everyday, don't you know.

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